But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
