Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
