I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
