So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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