I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
