I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
