We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
