I think scott just propositioned me for sex
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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