Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You can't motorboat a personality
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
