I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
