i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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