my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
