They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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