if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
