I'm really into asian looking animals
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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