Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
