How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this just has baby written all over it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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