Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
