But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
