I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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