it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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