The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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