New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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