Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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