my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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