found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
