Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Randomize
