I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
