She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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