get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
