I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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