i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
