next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
