I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
