I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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