Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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