Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
