did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
