His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
