I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
