whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
