I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
