Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
