apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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