She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
