We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
