you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
