she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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