put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
