My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
